I keep a list of dreams I want to achieve and I never share it with anyone because they would be surprised.

My best friend got promoted to VP and suddenly doesn't have time to answer my texts anymore.

Our department head uses a Magic 8-Ball toy on his desk to make final decisions on project approvals.

A guy cut me off at a four-way stop, so I drove 15 miles under the speed limit directly in front of him until he turned.

I told my friend I didn't like their favorite movie just to be contrarian, and now I have to pretend I've never seen it for three years.

My roommate throws massive parties without warning, so I set an automated alarm on his smart speaker for 6:00 AM every Sunday.

I told my barber I wanted a slight trim, panicked mid-cut, and ended up shaving my head completely bald to match.

I still have your favorite coffee mug sitting on my shelf, chipped handle and all, and I refuse to throw it away.

I never forgave you for telling our secrets to your new friends, even though you apologized years later.

My childhood friends started a group chat without me. I found out because one of them accidentally screenshotted it into our main chat.

I let a stray cat into our porch, fed it for weeks, and never told my family it wasn't a neighborhood visitor.

I told my date I was an expert ballroom dancer, and then proceeded to step all over their feet during dinner music.

I’m hooked on reading my roommate’s private journal every time she leaves for work. Last night I read that she’s secretly planning to kick me out.

I clock in before driving to work. That way I get paid to get there
It's a 2hr drive

I accidentally found out that our new hire with zero experience is making $15k more than I am after three years here.