My hometown looks completely unrecognizable now with all the new strip malls, and I feel like a tourist where I grew up.

I knew you were going to break my heart the night we met, but I let you in anyway because I was lonely.

I make excuses to walk past your desk just to smell the cologne you wear.

I’ve been having a secret affair with the HOA president for six months. My driveway repaving request was approved in under four minutes.

I still celebrate your birthday quietly by myself every year with a single slice of your favorite cake.

My sister thinks she found her biological father through a DNA test, but my mom switched the kit results years ago.

I took a job in an entirely different industry just because I wanted to wear a cool uniform to work.

I feel like an imposter in my own marriage sometimes, like I'm just acting out a role I watched in movies.

I didn't visit my sick friend in the hospital because I was too lazy to make the drive across town.

My father left a secret second will in his safe. My older brother doesn’t know it exists, and it gives me 80% of the estate.

I listen to ambient thunderstorm sounds on high-end noise canceling headphones while working in open office spaces.

Every time I drive past my old high school, I feel like a ghost haunting a place where I used to matter.

I change the playlist on my phone whenever your favorite song comes on so I don't accidentally listen to it too much.

I told everyone at the potluck I baked these lemon bars from scratch. They were $4 grocery store boxed mix.

I am sorry I wasn't at the funeral. I just couldn't bear to see you look at me with so much disappointment.