I spend hours reading deep-dive internet threads about defunct shopping malls from the 1990s.

I still write letters to you in my head every single night, but I will never hit send.

My senior developer copy-pastes entire chunks of code from AI and takes full credit. I quietly optimize his code at night so the site doesn’t crash.

My old neighborhood park looks smaller, older, and completely weathered down compared to how grand it felt in my childhood.

My ex kept logging into my Netflix, so I changed the profile name to "I Know What You Did" and changed the password.

My coworker kept stealing my customized creamer, so I replaced it with sugar-free vanilla almond milk.

I eat ice cream straight from the carton with a wooden spoon while hiding in my walk-in closet.

I have a folder on my desktop named "Resignation Drafts" that I update with fresh rants every single Friday afternoon.

I make up random excuses to walk past your department just to catch a glimpse of your desk setup.

When someone tailgates me dangerously close on the highway, I turn on my windshield washers to spray their clean car.

I’m a lead nurse at a private clinic. A very famous married local politician gets discreet wellness IVs here every Monday after weekend benders with his mistress.

I intentionally failed a skills test during an interview because the office culture felt like a nightmare.

I let my group take the bad grade on a project because I refused to fix their lazy mistakes at the last minute.

I’m a private chef for a wealthy family in town. The wife makes me add high-fat cream to her husband’s "diet" soups so he stays out of shape.

I sabotaged my own promotion application because I was too terrified of the leadership responsibilities.