I wrote a story about you in secret but deleted it before I ever showed it to you.

My parents didn't actually lose their savings in the stock market; my dad spent it all on a restoration project for a car he never fixed.

My coworker kept stealing my customized creamer, so I replaced it with sugar-free vanilla almond milk.

I hide behind my polite customer service persona because showing my actual exhaustion feels unsafe.

I told my landlord I have one cat. I have three cats and a dog.

I told my kids that the ice cream truck playing music means they are completely sold out of ice cream.

I am a 35-year-old software engineer and I unironically listen to 2000s pop music at max volume when driving alone.

My husband’s brother tried to flirt with me at our backyard BBQ when he thought no one was looking. I recorded his voice on my phone and saved it to my drive.

My friends keep thinking I like horror movies because I laughed too loudly at a scary scene in the theater.

I told my cat that the vacuum cleaner was a gentle pet monster, and now he just stares at it blankly.

A neighbor keeps parking over the line into my designated spot, so I started leaving polite notes written in glitter gel pen.

I found out my coworker made a spreadsheet ranking everyone in the office by attractiveness. He put himself at #1, but the entire department voted him #12.

My ex sent me a 4-page apology letter. I graded it in red pen for grammatical errors and mailed it back to his parents’ house.

I still keep your handwritten birthday card in my desk drawer because it was the kindest thing anyone ever wrote to me.

I told my friend I had read the classic book they recommended, but I just watched a 15-minute YouTube summary video.