I've secretly been a fan of your art since you started making videos three years ago.

I told my dog that mailman was a notorious criminal, and now he growls at every single delivery box that arrives.

I didn't visit my sick friend in the hospital because I was too lazy to make the drive across town.

I eat ice cream straight from the carton with a wooden spoon while hiding in my walk-in closet.

I let my friend believe she lost her favorite scarf, but I accidentally ruined it in the dryer and threw it away.

I have been claiming to know things that I never learned until someone asked me directly.

My childhood home was sold last week, and standing outside watching stranger's furniture move in broke my heart.

My grandmother's famous secret family recipe is literally just the recipe from the back of the Toll House bag.

My old childhood neighborhood is filled with new modern houses now, erasing every memory marker of my youth.

The new VP of Marketing has no idea how to operate our CRM platform and pays me $100 a week to do her reporting updates.

My old hometown feels like a stranger's town now that all the local spots we hung out at have been demolished.

The company is quietly pausing all 401k matches next quarter, and leadership is hiding it until after bonuses.

I'm terrified that I will never actually find a person who accepts my flaws without trying to change me.

I found out that my coworker has been dating someone from a completely different school than mine.

Our regional director has no idea how our software works and just nods along during technical roadmap presentations.