I accidentally deleted my professor's lecture backup file and pretended the school server crashed.

I let my roommate take the full blame and deposit loss for breaking our landlord's custom glass door.

I let my friend believe they dropped their favorite pen, but I actually pocketed it by accident and was too embarrassed to give it back.

My wife and I were trying to set up a new password for our computer. Sol entered "Mypen!s" then my wife fell on the floor laughing because on the screen it says,
"Error: Not Long Enough."

I found a wallet with more money than I have earned and I returned it without keeping any.

I’m a private chef for a wealthy family in town. The wife makes me add high-fat cream to her husband’s "diet" soups so he stays out of shape.

I order extra dipping sauces from fast food places and keep a hoard of them in a dedicated drawer in my fridge.

My brother thinks he earned his car scholarship. Our grandfather secretly funded the entire endowment anonymously.

I pretend to be bad at video games so you can carry me through the team matches and feel proud.

I overheard my boss on a private phone call admitting he forged the quarterly compliance audit. I saved the audio recording on a USB drive in my freezer.

I wish I said I love you to my children more often.

im gay asf lmao

I lied about having a competing offer and got my company to bump my salary by 25%. I didn't even have an interview.

The HR manager accidentally shared her screen during a company town hall, revealing she was shopping for a new job.

I accidentally scratched a brand new luxury car in a parking lot and drove away because nobody was looking.