I told my barber I liked the haircut when it looked terrible, and now I wear a baseball cap every single day.

I found a lost wallet with $200 cash inside five years ago, kept the money, and dropped the empty wallet in a storm drain.

I write letters to my ex every month on the anniversary of our breakup, but I bury them in my backyard instead of sending them.

I bought the house without anyone knowing that my parents were paying for it all along.

I am glad you found someone who treats you right, even if it took me losing you to realize my mistakes.

The entire engineering floor knows that two tech leads are locked in a silent proxy war over database architecture choices.

The moment I almost said yes to a terrible offer was when everything changed for the better in our lives.

I found out that my coworker has been dating someone from a completely different school than mine.

I learned how to play chess over the summer just so I would have an excuse to hang out with you more.

I lied about knowing SQL on my resume and spent my entire first week learning basic database queries from YouTube.

I spend hours reading online reviews for cheap $5 products I will never buy.

I know my dad isn't my biological father, but he has been so good to me that I will never tell him I found out.

I always offer to stay late at the office on Thursdays because I know you stay late to finish your weekly reports too.

Your name is always the first thing I think of when my phone rings and there is no call.

I buy the cheap boxed wine and pour it into an expensive glass bottle when guests come over. They always compliment it.