I am a 35-year-old software engineer and I unironically listen to 2000s pop music at max volume when driving alone.

Our department head uses a Magic 8-Ball toy on his desk to make final decisions on project approvals.

I created a fake Spotify playlist just to have an excuse to ask you what music you listen to while working.

I spend hours watching 10-hour loops of fireplace cracks while working under heavy blankets in the dark.

I told the barista my name was "Max" just because I was too exhausted to spell my real name out for them.

I saved a text message you sent me by mistake three years ago because it was the only time you initiated a conversation.

I accidentally deleted my professor's lecture backup file and pretended the school server crashed.

I used to have a dream of becoming a professional dancer until one day at the studio...

I accepted a job offer using a completely fabricated portfolio, and now I am frantically teaching myself how to do the actual work.

My old college apartment building was torn down for luxury condos, and a tiny piece of my youth went with it.

I found a lost wedding band at the beach, kept it in my jewelry box, and never attempted to find the owner.

Our entire department knows that two senior project managers are planning to resign on the exact same day next month.

I make up random excuses to walk past your department just to catch a glimpse of your desk setup.

I skipped my annual performance review meeting by claiming a sudden internet outage at my apartment.

My diploma is from a school I never attended and everyone believes in my achievements now.

My childhood dog passed away while I was away at college, and my family buried him without letting me say goodbye.

I spend hours reading Wikipedia articles about plane crashes and disaster investigations late at night.

I took a 15% pay cut to switch to a fully remote role, and my quality of life improved tenfold.

Your name is always the first thing I think of when my phone rings and there is no call.

The truth about their hidden feelings would ruin everything we have built over the past few years.