My neighbor boasts about her organic garden. I watched her through my kitchen window dumping store-bought vegetables out of plastic bags into her garden beds.

I spend hours reading about historical royal scandals like a soap opera while ignoring my actual career work.

I eat raw cookie dough straight from the tub while watching reality TV drama.

My coworker constantly talks loudly on speakerphone, so I started playing soft whale songs on my phone whenever he starts.

Our director of operations spends most of his workday playing mobile gacha games under his standing desk.

My husband’s family talks down to me because I didn’t come from money. Little do they know I pay off my husband’s credit card debt every single month.

I told my barber I liked the haircut when it looked terrible, and now I wear a baseball cap every single day.

I have a macro set up on my keyboard that instantly types out professional-sounding feedback for code reviews without me reading them.

I told my partner I was working late, but I actually just went to a diner alone to read a book in silence.

I feel like I am just acting out the role of an adult every day, waiting for someone to realize I have no clue what I am doing.

When my high school group reunited last summer, I realized I had nothing in common with any of them anymore.

My childhood dog passed away while I was away at college, and my family buried him without letting me say goodbye.

I spend hours reading Wikipedia articles about plane crashes and disaster investigations late at night.

My parents told everyone my uncle moved away for an art fellowship, but he was actually serving time for tax fraud.

I've been in love with my gym partner for two years, but they think of me purely as a sibling.