I accepted a job offer using a completely fabricated portfolio, and now I am frantically teaching myself how to do the actual work.

My current job is nothing like what I wanted but everyone thinks I am doing the right thing.

My brother thinks he bought his first car entirely with his own summer savings, but our grandmother matched every dollar.

I read the book you mentioned last month just so I could casually bring it up and talk to you for ten more minutes.

I skipped my annual performance review meeting by claiming a sudden internet outage at my apartment.

My coworker constantly steals my highlighters, so I bought ones that smell like stinky cheese and left them out on purpose.

I found a hidden camera inside an alarm clock in our vacation rental. Instead of calling the police right away, I unplugged it and took the SD card with me.

My coworker always microwaves stinky fish in the breakroom, so I hid a tiny Bluetooth speaker playing crickets inside the cabinet.

I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough to help you through your darkest season when we were younger.

I saw your new family photo online today. You look happy, and for the first time in ten years, it didn't hurt.

I am glad you moved on and found someone better, even though it completely shattered my world when you left.

I caught my daughter’s high school boyfriend looking at me in the mirror while I was fixing my hair. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since.

I learned how to play chess over the summer just so I would have an excuse to hang out with you more.

The IT department reads everyone's Slack DMs for fun, and they gossip about the office romances at the pub.

I overheard my boss telling the director that I don’t have "leadership quality." I just got an offer from our main competitor for double my current salary.