I spend hours watching videos of people cleaning extremely dirty carpets with high-pressure extractors.

I run the company’s social media account. I intentionally post subtle typos in the captions because engagement skyrockets in the comments when people correct me.

I saw my best friend’s husband at a luxury hotel bar two towns over holding hands with a woman half his age. I took photos and saved them to a hidden vault app.

I still watch animated cartoons from the 90s on Saturday mornings with a giant bowl of sugary cereal.

My childhood treehouse rotted away completely, taking the last physical symbol of my childhood adventures with it.

My landlord wouldn’t return my $2,000 security deposit over minor scuffs. I signed his personal email address up for 400 political donation newsletters.

My boss has been dating someone from our company who works in a different department than us.

The moment I almost said yes to a terrible offer was when everything changed for the better in our lives.

I clock in before driving to work. That way I get paid to get there
It's a 2hr drive

I pretended my phone battery died so I wouldn't have to listen to my friend complain about her boyfriend for the 5th time.

I make up random questions to ask you during team meetings just to hear the sound of your voice.

When our project was delayed, I told everyone it was because of the weather instead of what really happened.

I never spent the birthday gift I received and kept every single dollar in my savings account.

I told my therapist I was a good daughter, but I have never spoken to my father in five years.

I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough to help you through your darkest season when we were younger.