The last time I talked to them was three years ago and I never found a way to reconnect.

I told my cat a massive lie about feeding time being delayed just to buy myself ten more minutes in bed.

I turned down a huge promotion because it would have required moving away from my family forever.

I accepted a senior title just for the resume padding knowing fully well I would quit within six months for a remote contract.

The company executive team uses burner Slack accounts to monitor what employees say about upper management in public channels.

I watch 3-hour video essays about obscure internet mysteries while doing my chores on Sunday nights.

I memorize the exact days you wear your blue jacket because you look so handsome in it.

I’m a lead nurse at a private clinic. A very famous married local politician gets discreet wellness IVs here every Monday after weekend benders with his mistress.

I work as a nanny for a prominent family on our street. The mother thinks her youngest son looks just like his father, but he has the handyman’s exact blue eyes.

I still love you more than I should, but I love my own peace of mind much more now.

I turned down an offer from a FAANG company because their corporate values statement felt completely soulless.

I’m a luxury real estate assistant. My boss routinely uses our vacant $5M listings to meet up with high-profile married clients.

The head of HR is currently dating a direct report and they use burner Slack accounts to talk during work hours.

I found a lost designer wallet, took the cash out, and mailed the empty wallet back anonymously.

I got my current job by exaggerating a minor hobby project into a full-scale corporate software deployment.