I found a gold necklace on a park bench and pawned it to pay off my car insurance installment.

I purposefully take the long way to my desk just to walk past your cubicle and see if you look up at me.

I still love you more than I should, but I love my own peace of mind much more now.

I know your exact commute schedule by heart and pretend to check my mail whenever your car passes my house.

I work as a high-end nanny. I know for a fact that the youngest child in the family belongs to the pool contractor, and the dad has zero clue.

I love going to the movie theater by myself on Tuesday afternoons when the entire room is completely empty.

I know your favorite song by heart because you played it during a road trip three years ago and I never stopped listening to it.

A guy mansplained my own job to me, so I secretly changed his default font in Word to Wingdings.

I accidental logged into my boss’s Spotify account. His most-played playlist is called "Crying in the Parking Lot before 9 AM".

I let my roommate take the full blame and deposit loss for breaking our landlord's custom glass door.

My parents think I am happily married, but we have been sleeping in separate bedrooms for the last three years.

I pretend to be an introvert so people don't invite me places, but secretly I just feel exhausted by small talk.

I cry in the shower so my partner doesn't hear me breaking down over how stressed I am about our finances.

My favorite hobby is painting and I hide my art supplies behind my bedroom wall so others dont know.

I didn't visit my sick friend in the hospital because I was too lazy to make the drive across town.