I eat shredded cheddar cheese straight out of the bag at 2:00 AM while standing in front of the open fridge light.

My old college apartment building was torn down for luxury condos, and a tiny piece of my youth went with it.

Our office supply closet is locked like a high-security bank vault because employees kept stealing expensive mechanical pens.

I’ve been secretly leaving anonymous positive sticky notes on my coworker’s monitor every Friday because I know he’s going through a tough breakup.

I knew you were lying about where you were that night, but I stayed silent because I was afraid of losing you.

I buy the exact same brand of tea that you drink just so I can feel a tiny bit closer to your daily routine.

I am glad you found someone who treats you right, even if it took me losing you to realize my mistakes.

I accepted a senior title just for the resume padding knowing fully well I would quit within six months for a remote contract.

Our entire department knows that two senior project managers are planning to resign on the exact same day next month.

My husband’s brother tried to flirt with me at our backyard BBQ when he thought no one was looking. I recorded his voice on my phone and saved it to my drive.

I faked a family emergency to skip a mandatory corporate team-building retreat at a camp with no indoor plumbing.

I told everyone about our problems but never once told you that it would destroy you too.

I accidentally found out that our quietest software engineer is making double my salary because he negotiated hard during his hire.

My parents think I am a vegetarian, but I secretly eat pepperoni pizza whenever I am on business trips.

I run the company’s social media account. I intentionally post subtle typos in the captions because engagement skyrockets in the comments when people correct me.