I am sorry I wasn't at the funeral. I just couldn't bear to see you look at me with so much disappointment.

I caught my best friend’s husband kissing our tennis instructor behind the clubhouse lockers. I haven’t told her, but I did start using it to get the best court reservations.

I still remember your phone number by heart, ten years after we stopped speaking.

I’m head over heels for my sister’s husband’s brother. Family dinners are absolute torture because we can’t keep our eyes off each other.

I cry in the shower so my partner doesn't hear me breaking down over how stressed I am about our finances.

I told my dog he was getting a steak dinner, but I just gave him a regular dog biscuit shaped like a bone.

I know which of my friends is secretly attracted to my best friend and I have told them that it is not true.

I keep a list of dreams I want to achieve and I never share it with anyone because they would be surprised.

I replaced my roommates shampoo with one that makes you smell like a beach resort instead of fresh.

I act super calm during emergencies, but the second I am alone, my chest caves in from delayed panic.

My anonymous tips have saved countless people from harm but no one knows who I really am.

I matched with my former boss’s son on a dating app. He has no idea who I am, but the gossip he’s dropped about his father’s company is absolute gold.

I forgive you for what you did, but I never want to see or speak to you ever again.

I know which coworkers are secretly dating each other and who knows why they never admitted it to anyone.

I eat frozen waffles straight out of the freezer without toasting them because I am too lazy to wait two minutes.