You were my best friend, and watching you walk away without a single word broke something in me.

Our office supply closet is locked like a high-security bank vault because employees kept stealing expensive mechanical pens.

I watch terrible Hallmark Christmas movies in the middle of July just to feel a shred of serotonin.

I eat shredded cheddar cheese straight out of the bag at 2:00 AM while standing in front of the open fridge light.

I told my barber I liked the asymmetrical cut, then went home and cried while trying to fix it with kitchen scissors.

I told my partner I don't know how to operate the dishwasher so they would always load it themselves.

My neighbor tried to steal my catering recipe and claim it as her own for the neighborhood potluck. I gave her the recipe, but left out the two most vital ingredients.

I gave wrong, convoluted driving directions to someone who aggressively cut me off in the parking garage.

I eat a bowl of instant ramen with American cheese melted into it when nobody else is home to judge me.

I am planning to learn an instrument for years but never tell anyone because I want them to be surprised.

I eat spoonfuls of Nutella straight from the jar while watching crime documentaries late at night.

Our company's biggest client is leaving us next month, but leadership is keeping it a secret until after bonuses are paid.

Our director of operations spends most of his workday playing mobile gacha games under his standing desk.

My husband thinks I hate his family’s annual beach trip. I actually love it because his cousin’s best friend stays at the house right next door.

A car stole my parallel parking spot after I waited with my blinker on, so I put a note on their windshield written in lipstick.