A driver cut me off aggressively, so I drove right behind him with my high beams on until he changed lanes.

I told my dentist I floss every single night, but I only flossed ten minutes before walking into the clinic.

I took a job title upgrade on paper even though it came with zero pay increase just so I could update my resume faster.

My coworker always leaves the microwave dirty with popcorn splatter, so I put a sticky note inside saying "Your mother doesn't work here."

I reported my supervisor for falsifying safety records but never told anyone why it was really dangerous.

I told my dog he was a ferocious guard dog while he hid under the couch from a vacuum cleaner.

I hide behind my sarcastic humor because I am terrified that people won't like my actual personality.

I told my coworkers I missed the team dinner because of a scheduling conflict. I was home eating air fryer nachos.

I found out my coworker made a spreadsheet ranking everyone in the office by attractiveness. He put himself at #1, but the entire department voted him #12.

I feel completely emotionally numb most days, but a random commercial will make me weep uncontrollably.

My childhood best friend and I live in the same city now, but our schedules never align and we haven't seen each other in years.

I eat raw cookie dough straight from the tub while watching reality TV drama.

I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough to help you through your darkest season when we were younger.

I let my teacher praise me for a group project where I did literally zero percent of the work.

I sometimes like to push kids just to make them cry.