I still love you more than I should, but I love my own peace of mind much more now.

My manager asked me to take credit for their idea during a presentation but I said I had nothing to do with it.

I have been claiming to know things that I never learned until someone asked me directly.

I specifically wear the perfume you complimented three years ago whenever I know I am going to run into you.

Every time I visit my grandparents old home, I expect to see them sitting on the porch like nothing ever changed.

My parents think I’m saved up for a down payment on a house. I’m actually spending it traveling the world on solo weekend trips.

I watch 3-hour video essays about obscure internet mysteries while doing my chores on Sunday nights.

I still remember your phone number by heart, ten years after we stopped speaking.

My parents think I am saving for a house down payment, but I spent half of it on a cross-country motorcycle trip.

My parents think I am studying engineering, but I switched my major to fine arts two semesters ago.

I eat raw cookie dough despite the warnings because living dangerously is the only thrill I get on weekdays.

My grandmother gave me her antique jewelry box, and I discovered it was filled with old movie theater ticket stubs.

My uncle thinks he won his antique car fair and square. My father paid the judge $500 back in 1994.

My coworker loves taking credit for group work, so I embedded a hidden typo in the presentation title slide specifically with his name on it.

I overheard my sister’s fiancé arguing with his mother about a prenuptial agreement she forced him to write. The wedding is in six days and my sister has no idea.