My manager asked me to take credit for their idea during a presentation but I said I had nothing to do with it.

I negotiated a $20k raise simply by pretending I had a competing offer from another firm.

I hope you know that choosing yourself wasn't a mistake, even if it meant losing me in the process.

My best friend from college stopped replying to my messages after she got famous on social media.

I watch 3-hour video essays about obscure internet mysteries while doing my chores on Sunday nights.

I overheard my sister’s husband telling his friend that he only married her because her family owned a successful commercial business.

I pretend I hate being single, but the peace and quiet in my apartment is the best feeling in the world.

I’m head over heels for my sister’s husband’s brother. Family dinners are absolute torture because we can’t keep our eyes off each other.

I live two completely different lives depending on whether anyone can find me through social media.

A car stole my parallel parking spot after I waited with my blinker on, so I put a note on their windshield written in lipstick.

I turned down an offer from a FAANG company because their corporate values statement felt completely soulless.

I still wear the necklace you bought me during our trip to Italy, even though my current partner thinks it is just a random thrift store find.

I was the one who convinced them not to hire you. I was just too jealous of how easily everything came to you.

My roommate always leaves his wet towels on the couch, so I started putting them directly inside his laundry hamper soaking wet.

I volunteered for the office committee just because it put me in meetings with you twice a week.