I purposefully take the stairs down from the 4th floor every afternoon at 5:00 PM hoping we walk out together.

My brother keeps borrowing my tools without asking and returning them broken, so I hid his favorite gaming controller.

My aunt told everyone she won her baking championship fairly, but she bought the cake from a local bakery.

I eat raw cookie dough straight from the tub while watching reality TV drama.

I've been in love with my gym partner for two years, but they think of me purely as a sibling.

I feel like I am failing at every single aspect of adulthood, but everyone else thinks I am doing great.

I lied about knowing how to program in Python during an interview and learned the entire syntax over a stressful weekend.

I know your favorite snack from the vending machine because I watch which button you press every single afternoon.

Our department manager takes credit for ideas generated entirely by our junior interns during weekly brainstorms.

I feel completely emotionally numb most days, but a random commercial will make me weep uncontrollably.

Our regional director has no idea how our software works and just nods along during technical roadmap presentations.

I told my cat that the red laser dot was an alien invasion force, and he spent ten minutes defending the living room rug.

I change the radio station whenever love songs play because they always make me think of your smile.

I told my cat that barking dogs were just security guards on vacation, and he accepted it immediately.

My childhood home was sold last week, and standing outside watching stranger's furniture move in broke my heart.