My coworker constantly steals my pens, so I bought a pack of pens that write in invisible ink and swapped them.

I know your favorite snack from the vending machine because I watch which button you press every single afternoon.

I took credit for our project at work even though you did most of the actual work.

I smile through work meetings because showing any sign of burnout feels like admitting defeat to my team.

My husband’s family treats me like a gold-digger. Little do they know, I’m the one holding the offshore account that keeps his father’s business afloat.

I told my date I was an expert ballroom dancer, and then proceeded to step all over their feet during dinner music.

I am sorry I wasn't at the funeral. I just couldn't bear to see you look at me with so much disappointment.

The company is quietly pausing all 401k matches next quarter, and leadership is hiding it until after bonuses.

I learned how to play chess over the summer just so I would have an excuse to hang out with you more.

I accidentally told my crush about someone elses feelings during a group conversation but they seemed okay with it.

All my high school friends got married and had kids, and now we only text once a year on birthdays.

I pretend to be happy for you while secretly feeling like you are stealing something from me.

I took extra change from a cashier who made a math mistake and didn't correct her because I needed gas money.

My roommate keeps using my expensive skincare products without asking. I replaced the moisturizer with a sample bottle of liquid highlighter. Have fun glowing at work.

I memorize the exact days you wear your blue jacket because you look so handsome in it.