I accidentally found out my coworker makes $35,000 more than me for the exact same job. I’ve been deleting 10% of her client leads every week.

I found out our office printer has a secret folder storing scanned copies of every confidential document ever copied.

I hide behind my polite customer service persona because showing my actual exhaustion feels unsafe.

My husband thinks I’m an angel who saved us from bankruptcy. I’m the one who secretly spent $45,000 on luxury designer bags using his secondary business card.

My coworker constantly talks loudly on speakerphone, so I started playing soft whale songs on my phone whenever he starts.

I was the one who convinced them not to hire you. I was just too jealous of how easily everything came to you.

I hid their spare key in a place they would never think to look and then laughed when they couldnt get in.

I told my boyfriend I lost my memory card from our vacation. I didn’t lose it—I just saw what was in his deleted photos folder.

The degree on my wall is a gift from my parents but no one knows its not an actual credential.

I eat a whole jar of pickled jalapeño slices straight with a fork while standing over the kitchen sink.

I read the book you mentioned last month just so I could casually bring it up and talk to you for ten more minutes.

A guy mansplained my own job to me, so I secretly changed his default font in Word to Wingdings.

I buy the exact same brand of tea that you drink just so I can feel a tiny bit closer to your daily routine.

My best friend got promoted to VP and suddenly doesn't have time to answer my texts anymore.

I learned how to play chess over the summer just so I would have an excuse to hang out with you more.