The marketing department budget was completely wasted on an influencer campaign that brought in zero conversions.

I’ve been having a secret affair with the HOA president for six months. My driveway repaving request was approved in under four minutes.

I negotiated a $20k raise simply by pretending I had a competing offer from another firm.

I intentionally unsubscribe my ex's primary email address from random newsletters every time they cross my mind.

I matched with my former boss’s ex-wife on a dating app. We had dinner last night, and hearing all the dirt on his home life was pure poetry.

I learned how to play chess over the summer just so I would have an excuse to hang out with you more.

I’m in love with my gym partner. We touch hands every time we spot each other on the bench, but he’s engaged to someone I used to go to school with.

I let my friend believe they dropped their favorite pen, but I actually pocketed it by accident and was too embarrassed to give it back.

I spent four full hours today playing idle simulation games on my phone while setting my Slack status to "Deep Focus Mode".

My neighbor’s golden retriever ruined my flowerbeds. I’ve been feeding him gourmet dog treats every evening so he loves me more than his owner.

Our company cafeteria chef recently quit after getting into a screaming match with an executive over chicken nugget quality.

My ex-fiancé tried to sue me for the ring back after he cheated. I sold it to a pawn shop, bought a fake replica on Amazon, and handed him the box in court.

I found out that my coworker has been dating someone from a completely different school than mine.

The last time I talked to them was three years ago and I never found a way to reconnect.

I spend hours reading online reviews for cheap $5 products I will never buy.