I’ve been pretending to hate my coworker’s favorite band for months just so we have a reason to banter every morning.

By day I am a high school teacher but at night I run my own secret blog about anonymous online communities.

I still remember your phone number by heart, ten years after we stopped speaking.

My roommate’s boyfriend stays over 6 days a week without paying rent. I changed the Wi-Fi password to `PayRentMark123` every time he shows up.

I know which of my friends is secretly attracted to my best friend and I have told them that it is not true.

My diploma is from a school I never attended and everyone believes in my achievements now.

I used to have a dream of becoming a professional dancer until one day at the studio...

The first time I ever saw someone who made me feel that way, it was you.

My parents think I donated my old comic book collection, but I secretly packed it away in my storage unit.

The new VP of Marketing has no idea how to operate our CRM platform and pays me $100 a week to do her reporting updates.

I let my friend believe she lost her favorite scarf, but I accidentally ruined it in the dryer and threw it away.

I turned down an offer from a FAANG company because their corporate values statement felt completely soulless.

My uncle thinks he won his antique car fair and square. My father paid the judge $500 back in 1994.

I memorize the exact days you wear your blue jacket because you look so handsome in it.

I still celebrate your birthday quietly by myself every year with a single slice of your favorite cake.