My husband thinks I’m allergic to his favorite cologne. I’m not. His best friend wears it, and every time I smell it, I think of him.

My parents think I am clean, but I still struggle with my addiction every single weekend when they aren't looking.

I remember every single small detail you mentioned about your childhood pet because you looked so happy talking about it.

My roommate hogs the hot water during showers, so I turn the hot water valve down halfway in the basement.

The only reason no one has heard about my concerns is because I never told anyone who was really behind it.

My roommate always takes my favorite mugs, so I hid them in the bottom of my winter clothes bin in the closet.

I am glad you moved on and found someone better, even though it completely shattered my world when you left.

I memorize the exact days you wear your blue jacket because you look so handsome in it.

My coworker constantly talks loudly on speakerphone, so I started playing soft whale songs on my phone whenever he starts.

I accidentally found out that our quietest software engineer is making double my salary because he negotiated hard during his hire.

I spend hours reading online reviews for cheap $5 products I will never buy.

My parents think I stopped playing video games years ago, but I bought a handheld console and play under the covers.

I’m deeply in love with my daughter’s 24-year-old personal trainer. Every time he comes over to coach her, I find an excuse to bring out fresh lemonade.

I spend hours watching videos of people cleaning extremely dirty carpets with high-pressure extractors.

Every time I drive past my old high school, I feel like a ghost haunting a place where I used to matter.