A driver cut me off and flipped me off, so I memorized his license plate and signed him up for free pest control quotes.

I have had moments where my heart stopped beating and I knew there was no going back from it.

My husband’s attractive business partner accidentally called me "darling" during a dinner party. Neither of us corrected it, but the tension in the room was electric.

I change the radio station whenever love songs play because they always make me think of your smile.

My parents think I gave my old guitar away to a music school, but I secretly kept it stored in my closet.

I am glad you found someone who treats you right, even if it took me breaking your heart to realize how.

My neighbor played loud bass at 2 AM, so I registered his home address for free religious mailings and sales calls.

I looked up your zodiac sign compatibility just to see if we would have worked out in an alternate timeline.

I told my mom I never lied before but now she knows I have a whole secret folder of made up names.

My coworker constantly borrows my phone charger and breaks the tips, so I glued a broken micro-USB tip inside the port.

I didn't tip the delivery driver because I was short on cash, and I still feel bad about it months later.

I saved a text message you sent me by mistake three years ago because it was the only time you initiated a conversation.

My diploma is from a school I never attended and everyone believes in my achievements now.

My mother-in-law gave me a hideous antique vase for our anniversary. I "accidentally" knocked it over with the vacuum cleaner while she was in the living room.

I rejected a management promotion because it meant I would have to stop taking afternoon naps while working from home.